Percy Jackson And The Mercenaries: Capture The Bolt
by Soldier Of Dance
Summary: IN HIATUS - The mercs get a very unusal contract. How will the cold-hearted killers get along with the brave heroes? - Follows the original story of PJ.
1. Prologue

Prologue

"Gentlemen," BLU Spy said, entering BLU base dining area "We got another contract".

"Alright let's go do it" Scout said while preparing his weapons. The rest of the slowly mercs got up, expecting another boring assasination or package delivery.

"Don't be so hasty, scout. This is a tricky one" Spy said.

"What are we dealing with here, Spook?" Sniper asked.

"This contract requires us to be in another dimension" Spy said.

Silence fell in the room.

"Hmm, what kind of other dimension, Spy?" Engineer asked.

"I don't know really." Spy shrugged, "Miss Pauling came to my office and handed me this paper. Told me to inform you all. Didn't give me any information."

"For how long?" Heavy asked.

"Five years." Spy answered "If we even survive, we will get some fat cash out of it. We're - "

"Whoa, slow down. Whadya mean, if we'll even survive?" Scout asked, worried.

"What did you think, that we're going to Pyroland?! It's gonna be a dangerous world, very dangerous, from what I hear. If you're a coward, stay here. If you're a mann, go with us." Spy said angrily.

Scout remained silent and kept on packing.

"Anyway, as I said, we're heading out now" Said Spy, "Pack up everything you need; weapons, food, everything, and Miss Pauling will arrive to pick us up to the portal Mann Co. prepared for us. Oh, but do not bring pets... Medic..."

"Scheiße! Vhy?" Medic sighed.

"They said sending a bird with a human through a portal will cause some serius problems..."

"Ya'll probably end up mixed with the bird. Remeber when it happend in Halloween? (A.N: I see Halloween cosmetics, lore-wise, as curses)" Engineer reminded Medic.

"Argh, fine." Medic crossed his hands and a sour face.

"They will probably send it separately, next year. Okay?" Spy tried to cheer him up.

"Oh, gut!" Medic smiled and went to his dorm to pack up.

"Oh, and more importantly, take only STOCK weapons!"

Everyone called in frustartion.

"Yes, I know. Mann Co. will give us a large truck, that the only exeptional weapon in it will be a flare gun! They said that 'a mass overload of objects and humans will cause a huge cosmic malfunction'... whatever that means..."

"Bad news." Engineer promised him. "If mah math is correct, it can cause a big vertical illusion that will stir-"

"Alright, we got it. Bad news. Now move up!" Spy barked.

Everyone started moving to their dorms." "Pony up, boys!" Engineer yelled "Hey Spy, where are we going to land?"

"Long Island, New York. Come on, if there're any more questions, you can ask Pauling, let's go!"

"Eh… Vait Spy, did zey really didn't tell you anything about zis operation?" Medic asked.

"Hmm…" Spy thought, "Well, they said it's going to be something of Greek mythology that exists in modern day world."

"Aye, We're going to have sum' intrestin' time, then", Demoman said while packing his alcohols.

"Indeed. Come, I see our ride is outside." Spy said as they walked out of BLU base with their bags "Oh, and be careful out there. Medic's re-animator is going to work there, but we got no respawn there. If anybody dies... well, I don't understand completely how will it work, but basically, he will stay DEAD."

"WHOOA! WE'RE GOING TO HAVE SOME FUNTIME! LET'S GO, MAGGOTS!" Soldier yelled happily as they all entered the truck.

To be continued…


	2. Chapter 1

It was a rainy, stormy night. Lightings erupted everywhere. Suddenly, two lights appeared out of the dark. A blue large pickup truck was moving through the gloomy rain. It had six seats in the back and three in the front.

"Bloody hell, this stupid damn storm makes me miss Sawmill."

"Shut it, Bushman. Are you a mercenary or a little kid?"

"What? Since when complaining about a storm is being a little kid?"

Spy and Sniper were arguing in the coverless backseats, wet to their bones.

"We've faced worse than storms, the least you could do is shut up!" Spy said.

"Well for now we ain't facing stuff worse than storms, so I have the right to complain as much as - "

"How about you two dumbasses shut the hell up and look at this!" Engineer yelled.

A destroyed, burnt '78 Camaro was lying in a trench to the left of the road. The mercenaries stopped to inspect it.

"Hmm, interesting vat happent zu it." Medic wondered.

"Seems like it exploded recently, very recently." Engineer noted.

"Hmph, I don't like the look of this. Hard-hat, how close are we to this camp?" Scout asked.

"Well… we are basically there. If I'm not wrong, the camp should be right to our..."

 **ROAAAAR!**

All the mercenaries jumped up in fear, even the brave and strong ones. A giant black figure, the size of two heavies on top of each other, was standing far to their right. Suddenly, a golden dust cloud about the size of a man dissolved next to it.

 **"NOOOOO!"** A shout was heard.

"I dunno' 'bout you, folks, but it seems like someone's in trouble!" Engineer said.

The mercenaries rushed to the battle, but stopped when they saw their enemy. A tall, giant man with hair all over his body and a head of an ox was standing in front of them. He sniffed a small boy who was lying unconscious next to him. The boy had goat legs and small horns on his head. Another boy, a fully human one, was standing a few feet away from the two animal-like creatures, looking worried and confused.

The mercenaries froze on their tracks. The behemoth roared at them and that got them out of their shock.

"Let's get him!" Scout yelled as they charged at the monster.

The Minotaur punched with both hands and sent Scout and Spy flying. Pyro pulled out his flare gun but the Minotaur grabbed him by the leg and threw him hard on a tree. Demoman panicked and started shooting aimlessly at the monster with him grenade launcher.

None of the bombs hit the mark but one exploded near it, sending a few shards on its body. The Minotaur roared in pain and charged at Demoman with its head aimed at him. The frightened alcoholic tried to reload but was pushed away and sent flying by the monster's head.

Engineer hurriedly built a mini-sentry that started shooting at the Minotaur but the small rounds only made him angrier. With one small stomp it destroyed the sentry and kicked Engineer, sending him flying too.

Sniper, who couldn't get a clear shot on the monster, ran away when he saw his SMG is doing nothing. The Minotaur punched Soldier before he could react, sending him to the ground so hard it cracked. The monster was about to go after Sniper but then Heavy joined the action and started spinning Sasha and firing at the monster, sending it to hide behind a tree.

Medic came to Heavy's aid and started healing him with the Medigun. Heavy started toward where the Minotaur was hiding, but it lounged at him, dropping Sasha to the ground. Medic tried to pull out his Ubersaw but the Minotaur punched him against the tree.

The Minotaur stood above Heavy, panting angrily. Heavy was too shocked to move, seeing how his team was defeated so easily, so fast. Plus, his arm was broken. The Minotaur leaned on Heavy's body, reaching for his head.

"Well, I suppose this is where our little adventure ends, before it even started…" Heavy thought to himself. He closed his eyes and waited for the unavoidable end…


	3. Chapter 2

The monster was about to rip Heavy's head off when suddenly, Percy jumped on its back. He knew he had to save those strangers, even if he doesn't know them. They tried to help him, so he must repay for that. With great force, Percy ripped one of its horns out.

The monster screamed in pain, shaking Percy off. Blinded by pain and vengeance, it charged at Percy. Percy quickly stuck the bleeding horn in the ground. He waited till the Minotaur lounged at him, and rolled away, leaving the beast charging in full power at its own needle-sharp horn. With a last ear-piercing cry of pain, the Minotaur dropped on its feet, crumbling into yellow dust.

Percy was exhausted, but he knew he had to get help from the near farmhouse-looking place. Then he saw the flare gun the man with gas mask and the HAZMAT-looking suit had dropped down. He took it and shot with it to the dark, now rainless sky. He heard some yelling and people coming to their location, but he was too tired after the hard battle. He just passed out.

* * *

Medic, feeling pain all over his body, woke up slowly. It was bright noon outside the windows. He was in some kind of an infirmary, with some saw hospital beds to his left. Six of his teammates where lying unconscious, covered with bandages. He counted again: two were missing. Pyro and Sniper.

"Ey, doc. Glad to see that you finally woke up." A familiar voice said. Medic looked to his right and saw Sniper, holding his slouch hat in his hands. "I thought y'all are gonners for sure, and I will need to return to Mann Co. with eight body bags."

"Scharfschütze, gut to see you. Vat happent last night?" Medic asked.

"A giant bloody ox-man happened. It smacked y'all down quick and easy. I couldn't get a clear shot, my SMG was useless against that behemoth and I didn't dare to get close to it with my kukri, so I ran away to put some distance between us. Only, when I was 'bout to aim ma' rifle an' blow it's bloody head off, that human boy we saw jumped on its back, ripped one of its horns out and stabbed him right in his big hairy chest!

"After that, he took Pyro's flare gun and shot a signal. I wanted to get close to him, ask him if he's okay, but he collapsed and fainted. Poor lil' guy was probably exhausted. Then, some young mates came, armored up with strange-lookin' ancient armors, with sum' medics with strechers and helped us with tha' wounded. They whispered stuff 'bout mortals and camp border or somethin', but they let us in eventually."

"Qvite a tale." Medic said. "Vell, vere are ve now?"

"Well, heh, it seems we arrived on the camp Pauling told us about. The hard way" Sniper grinned.

"Alright zen. Very gut. Now, vere is my medigun?" Medic asked.

"Well, unfortunately, they don't trust us very much." Sniper sighed, "They took our weapons to some kind of a guarded armory. Since I'm not such of a good negotiator, and the contract is in Spy's locked briefcase, we are stuck in here now."

"Vell, I don't know about you, but I'm not going to sit here vaiting for months till everyone heals up. Let's go talk to zem." Medic said in determination.

"Alright doc, I'm with ya, but I don't think you are In good sha…"

"Nonzense! I am alive and vell. Come on, let'z go…" Medic almost fainted from pain when he tried to get up. "ARRRGH MY RIBZ! Mein gott, I'm veeling like every movement may kill me."

"Told ya," Sniper said in a sad voice.

"I zuppose you're right, but ve really don't have time to lay down here and vait until I heal up." Medic said.

"Let me think for a sec, doc. Maybe I got a solution." Sniper said as he leaned towards his bag. "A-ha! I got a small liquid health kit in ma' bag. Here, drink." Sniper sounded happy as he gave Medic the bottle. Medic gulped all of it down and sighed with small relief when he finished. "Ah, much better. Come on, Sniper. Help me get to ze camp director."

Medic leaned on Sniper as they limped toward the door. "Excuse me, but where do you think you're going?" The mercs stopped as the door opened and as a tall, strong looking girl, clad in red ancient armor, walked in. She had long, stringy light brown hair and pig-like brown eyes.

"You aren't allowed to get out. Stay inside until the camp counselor calls you." She said aggressively.

"Listen, dame, ve just vant to explain our prezense in zis place-"

"How did you just call me, you crazy German?!"

Sniper realized it's time to interfere: "Ey listen Sheila, you startin' to get on ma' nerve so I'll make it quick, we just want to talk with the camp manager so he'll understand why we're here. We need to get Doc's Medigun and heal our teammates. Now get the bloody hell outta our faces or I'll…"

"Are you threatening me, stupid mortal?" the girl said as she drew out a mean looking spear, "Just try laying one finger on me and I'll nail you like a shish-kebab!"

"Alright you asked for it, you big-headed piss…"

"HEY!" A new female voice yelled from behind them. "Clarisse, what in Tartarus do you think you're doing?!"

"Those mortals are starting to threaten me so…" Clarisse yelled back to the blond girl who came rushing in.

Sniper grabbed the opportunity and quickly snatched the spear from Clarisse's hand and pointed it to her face ."Not so tough now, are ya Shiela!"

"PLEASE! People! Let's calm down and talk about this!" The blond girl shouted.

"Vell zat's vat ve suggested to this wahnsinnige and you see what it has led us to!" Medic said.

"Yes, I get that, but please! Let's calm down and talk about it!" She begged. "Please drop the spear and let's talk about it calmly. I'm sure we can straighten this up!"

"Whadya say, Doc?" Sniper asked, still pointing the spear to Clarisse's face.

More armored and armed young teenagers stormed in.

"Well Doc?!"

"It vouldn't be vise or tactical to fight a whole camp by ourselves. Letz try negotiating."

"Alright Doc." Sniper said and stuck the spear in the wall.


	4. Chapter 3

After the incident, Annabeth led Sniper and Medic out of the infirmary into the deck, which was connected to a building she referred to as "The Big House". Two men were sitting there playing cards. She introduced them as Chiron and Mr. D, the camp directors.

Mr. D asked if they knew how to play Pinochle. Medic knew but Sniper didn't. Chiron asked Annabeth to get them some coffee which she did, and then left. The three started to play, and Sniper stood, leaning on the railing, drinking his coffee.

Chiron tried starting a conversation, but Medic cut him short: "I von't speak of anything, and so vill my associate, until I have my Medigun and heal my teammates."

"But please, we must know why you are here before we let you have access to your weapons." Chiron insisted.

"Ze Medigun is not a veapon! It'z an advanced technological device zat heals vounds and limbz!" Medic said, annoyed.

"Then I'll ask you to prove it." Chiron said.

"Fine, no problem. Zis is vot I vanted to do in ze first place."

"Yes, yes, we'll get to that, little mortal, but let's first finish playing." Mr. D interferred, "I also believe I am winning."

"I believe you are rong." Medic said.

"What do you…" Mr. D stopped, dropping his jaw, and stared at Medic who tallied up his points.

"Vell? Let'z get to business, shall ve?" Medic stood up, "Come on, Sniper, get moving."

"I'm going to get some rest." Mr. D grumbled with a voice full of anger, clearly outraged that a mortal had beaten him.

"Vat? Did zis elitist never get the feel of losing?" Medic asked as they walked away.

"No no, I have beaten him a few times, but he never loosed to a mortal." Chiron said.

"Vill he take revenge at me for zat?" Medic worried.

"Well no, if he was a less honorable person he would, but I think he could live with it, although it will probably bother him for some time."

"Votever. Anyvay, is zis the place?" Medic asked as they approached a big metal shed with two guards.

"Yes. Just remind me how does this Medigun of yours look like?"

"Like a modified fire hose nozzle which is connected vith a pipe to a backpack vith a blue cross on it."

Chiron ordered the guards to get the Medigun out. "Now, how do you use it?"

"Vell it only vorks on people zat have blue clothing or armor. So unless you vant to vaste your time changing clothes, give it to me."

Chiron hesitated for a few seconds, and then gave it to the doctor: "You seem like an decent guy, so I'll trust you."

"Gut, danke." Medic wore the backpack and flicked a switch to turn the Medigun on. "Now, how vould you like me to prove it works?"

"Why not try this on your wounded teammates?"

They walked back to the infirmary. A Hispanic teenage boy was standing guard instead of Clarisse. Chiron explained that he had changed the guard because he didn't want any more trouble if anyone else woke up.

"Hello Chris, can you open the door for us please?"

"Yes, sir." Chris opened the door and let the mercs and Chiron in.

"So, who is the most… friendly man in your group?" Chiron asked.

"Hmm… I'd say Engineer, right Sniper?"

"Yeah," Sniper responded "He's kind of a good ol' boy."

"Fine. Show me your abilities, doctor." Chiron said.

Medic aimed the Medigun at Engineer's body. His right leg and hipbone were broken. Medic pulled the trigger and a blue beam of energy connected to Engi's body. Immediately, the limp body tightened up. The sleeping man sighed and a look of relief spread on his face.

"Fascinating" Chiron looked on in amazement.

"Now, I shouldn't vake him 'cause he needs more rest, but since I'm eager to introduce him to you, I hope he vill forgive me." Medic shook Engineers body gently "Hey, Dell! Vake up!"

Engineer opened his eyes slowly: "Hey Doc, Sniper. How's it going?"

"Com'on, Texan. Get up, we got a job." Sniper said.

"Do you trust me now?" Medic asked Chiron.

"I suppose so. Go, heal your teammates. Then we'll discuss your presence here in more detail."

"Deal", Medic said, hurrying to tend to his teammates while Sniper helped Engineer get up.


	5. Chapter 4

(A.N.: This work refers basically to the period before the Gun Mettle update. I don't know yet how to treat the robot wars, though. Maybe it can be omitted or ignored.)

* * *

Five minutes later, the mercs were fine and well.

"Mission accomplished. Now let's get down to business." Spy said.

"Wait a sec, someone's missing…" Engineer realized.

"You're right! Where is Pyro?!" Spy called.

"Heelp mfe!" A mumbling was heard.

"Sir! We found another one!" One of the campers called.

Chiron and the mercs got outside and saw a black haired boy carrying someone wearing an asbestos-lined fire suit and a mask. "We found him crawling towards the camp perimeter, seems like his legs are broken. We tried to take off his mask and suit, but he strongly resisted."

"Of course he did. Let me take care of him" Medic hurried to Pyro and healed him quickly.

"Mhnk nhya mhph." Pyro thanked him.

"Your'e velcome."

"Well now that the team is re-assembled, we can get to work" Spy said.

"Yes, first please explain your presence in our camp." Chiron asked.

Spy told Chiron briefly about the Gravel Wars and how Australium led Australia to the domination the technology market.

Chiron seemed interested: "That is all well and good, but that still doesn't explain why you're here."

"Well, Mann Co. has allowed us to take random contracts if we wanted, and when I saw this one, I knew it was the one. You probably got a message saying our arrival is coming, right?"

"How do you… Err, ehm, well yes, but it wasn't very clear. The sender was unknown to us and it only said _'Assistance is on the way_.'"

"Well then, maybe it's a fan o'yours or somethin', or tha universe just wanted to send ya help." Scout interrupted.

"Whatever it is," Spy continued "We are nine strong men, capable of seeing things through the mist and killing monsters with our weapons - "

"Wait," Chiron stopped him, "How can you do that? Technically you are STILL mortals, right?"

"Well, I have a theory." Engineer started explaining, "Because we're from another realm, certain rules of this place don't apply to us, for example, seeing through the mist."

"How do you explain the weapons? Another realm or not, these guns are designed only to fight mortals, or regular humans, right?"

"Well, we fought and killed a few supernatural beings with those guns… But another theory is that, most Mann Co. weps' have a bit of Australium in them, and Australium… Heh. I could sit here all day explaining the wonders of this Rare Earth Element."

"Which we don't have…." Sniper tapped on his clock.

"Yeah, yeah. Basically, a gold-lookin' thing that can create everything you need. Meaning-"

"-That Australium can kill monsters and whatever, but we're getting off the track here!" Spy raised his arm, "We're nine good mercenaries with amazing gadgets that are ready to defend and fight for you FOR FREE."

"For free?" Chiron asked.

"Yes. We're supposed to get paid automatically for every year we're working here…" Spy stopped.

"What's the problem?"

"The question is, do you trust us and allow us to help you."

Chiron thought for a minute.

"Well?" Spy asked in anticipation.

"I trust you. You seem like fine people… mostly, for me."

"Thank you. Now, where are we sleeping?"

"Hold it right there, old horse!" A new voice came. "I did not approve the idea that those annoying mortals stay at my camp." The camp director, Mr. D came with a sour face.

Chiron sighed "Mr. D, please…"

"No Chiron. I won't accept crazy armed mercenaries at my camp! You return immediately to your world and…"

"Wait ye grumpy olde man! Let us offer ya a deal first." Demoman said in a crafty smile.

"What is it? What is he mumbling about?"

"How 'bout we work in ye camp, and teach our battle skills and such to yer campers with? eh? Soundin' like a good deal, eh lad?!"

Mr. D thought for a second. The mercs watched him, looking worried.

"Oh alright, whatever. Just don't teach them murdering and killing, or I'll give you a double portion of your own stew."

The mercs cheered and Chiron let out a small smile.

"Alright alright the moment has passed. Back to work!" Spy said "So where do we shack?"

"Hmm… I don't think the campers will enjoy your presence too much, no offence mind you. So maybe not in the cabins, hmmm..."

"Maybe ya can give us some building materials and a small plot of land?" Engineer suggested. "We could build ourselves a base up here."

Chiron looked at him in disbelief "Maybe I can, but that'll cost a lot of money, that you will have to pay so…"

"Never mind that, we brought money. We only need - "

"Eh Engi?" Heavy stopped him "We didn't bring a lot of money. Each of us only got 9$."

"Dangit."

"Maybe that could be used for buying tents?" Chiron suggested.

"Sounds like a nice idea…" Scout said.

"Ye bloody crazy? Ya know how much a single person tent cost? Up to bleedin' 50$!" Sniper yelled.

"Let's buy a nine man tent, then!" Heavy said scratching his head.

Sniper smacked his hand on his face "That can be up to 150$, drongo!"

"Ah. Bad!"

"Schlafsäcke maybe?" Medic asked.

"Schl… what the hell did you just said?!"

Medic sighed "Sleeping bags. We have enough to buy sleeping bags right?"

"My god, have you - "

"Gods*" Chiron corrected him.

"Whatever, Have you wankas ever gone campin'?"

Everyone shrugged.

Sniper face palmed and sighed again "Decent sleeping bags can cost up to 15$, geniuses."

"Listen, I can maybe tell the camp store to give you a discount so…" Chiron said.

"No." Spy interrupted "We're going to live in big separated tent with good sleeping bags."

"What in Sam Hill are you talking about?!" Engineer asked in utter bewilderment.

Spy ignored him and said "Listen, sir Chiron - "

"Huh, please, no need to call me sir." Chiron said in a clearly a satisfied look.

"Mr. Chiron, you said you trust us right? So how about, we take the biggest tent and the finest sleeping bags you got, and I promise, in the end of the year, when we get out payment, which is going to probably thousandths of dollars, we'll pay you."

"Swear on the River Styx."

They all swore on river Styx, and a lighting was heard.

"Good. Now just inform the - "

"Wait, but what if one of you dies?"

"Leave that problem to us, mon ami."

"Alright than. Welcome to camp half-blood, mercenaries."


	6. Chapter 5

A few weeks passed, as the mercs got nice and cozy, meanwhile earning the campers' trust.

Scout gave them running and baseball classes, Soldier did boot camp classes, and Pyro taught them pyrotechnics.

From Demoman they learned explosives and sword fighting, Heavy taught wrestling and juggernautism, and Engineer taught… well, engineering. Medic taught surgery and other medical skills, Sniper coached in bow and arrow, and Spy - spying and clock and dagger.

After some time, Capture the Flag time had come. Most of the mercs didn't join in, except Soldier who played with the Ares team and Scout who joined Athena team.

"Are you really sure that they are not part of the RED team?!" Soldier kept questioning Spy, looking increasingly worried.

"Yes, you violent helmet-head! They have no association with them!"

"Hrgh, fine. Although those sissies and their father need much more training before they can be called 'Sons of war'!" Soldier grumbled.

"And no killing of the enemy! Can you remember that?"

"Maybe!"

Spy sighed.

"Whu-hu-whoah! Doze knuckleheads ain't knowing what's coming to them!" Scout cheered.

"Remember," Spy reminded him "Only melee weapons are allowed."

Chiron repeated the rules for everyone.

"Move out, privates!" Soldier cried as he ran with Ares team to the northern part of the forest.

"Let's own 'dem!" Scout yelled as the Athena team swarmed south.

Soldier ran across the forest, armed with his Half-Zatoichi and Concheror, covered with his samurai armor. Suddenly he heard yells and laughs not far away and decided to check it out. When he got there, he saw Clarisse and some other Ares teammates harassing the skinny guy he thought was called Percy something. One of the bigger kids pushed him into the creek while the rest of them laughed.

"HEY CLARISSE YOU IDIOT NO-GOOD SISSIE! WHAT ARE YOU DOING THERE!?" He screamed while rushing to them.

"Com'on solly, what's your problem? Just teaching the little punk some manners!" She said with an evil smile.

"Torturing prisoners ain't no way to play war, maggot! Why don't you fight him yourself without your hippie mates?"

"Hey!" They all protested.

Percy got up, looking fresh and angry, grabbing his sword and shield from the ground. The Ares warriors approached him menacingly.

"Go away, Soldier", Clarisse said, "We'll talk after we finish beating this punk."

"Excuse me, but NO! We'll talk NOW!"

She ignored him and turned to Percy… only to find herself bashed on the head by his shield. She stumbled backwards, stunned.

Percy quickly moved on to the rest of them. Somehow he was able to overcome all the Ares campers. He picked up Clarisse's spear and snapped it in two.

"Aren't you going to pick on me too, war-boy?" He asked soldier.

Soldier giggled "Heh heh, you're one tough little maggot, aren't you? But you're no match for me. I'm not going to fight you, since what you did was justified. Torture is not acceptable, even in war. But it doesn't mean I'm not going to capture your flag! HA!"

Soldier ran past Percy, pushing him aside. Percy tried to stop him: "Hey stop right the - "

"WUSH!" Scout suddenly rushed out of nowhere with the Ares flag in his hand.

"What in the name of - " Soldier turned quickly but Scout jumped on his head and got the flag to the Athena side, apologizing mockingly "Oops!"

The Athena team exploded with cheers. The flag turned into a silver flag with a golden caduceus sign etched on it.

Annabeth appeared next to Percy taking off her invisibility cap "Sorry I didn't come earlier. I knew Clarisse and her goons will abandon their defense in order to bully you, so I sent Scout to get their flag fast. Athena always has a plan."

"A plan to get me killed..." Percy grumbled.

While Annabeth apologized to Percy, Soldier grabbed Clarisse and slapped her face: "Wake up! Wake-up you sloppy son of a…"

"Wha… what just…" She mumbled half consciously.

Meanwhile, Annabeth looked worriedly at Percy's wounds, which started healing magically, and alerted Chiron.

"YOU DAMN FOOL! IF YOU ONLY HADN'T POKED THAT KID WE WOULD'VE WON! YOU IDIOTIC, BULLYING PIECE OF - " Soldier stopped, hearing a canine growl.

Chiron yelled something in Greek and Annabeth drew her sword. On the rocks above them appeared a big black hell hound.

"Percy, run!" Annabeth yelled as the dog leaped on Percy and even managed to bite him.

"YARRRGH!" Soldier jumped over Percy and caught the hound. They wrestled on the ground, fighting.

"HUTTAH!" Soldier grabbed the dog's neck, "NECK SNAP!" and snap! the head turned with a cracking sound and gone limp.

Soldier giggled, but then looked down on his bloodied chest and realized that the hound got him too. "Oh", he fainted on the hound's melting body.

The other team members came rushing into the forest to find out who won the game, while Medic tended to Soldier's wounds.

Some campers arrived after them, helping Percy who was also wounded in the chest. Annabeth told him to get inside the cool water of the creek. His wounds were almost immediately gone, and a green mist rose above his head with a sign of a yellow trident shining in it.

"Percy," Annabeth said, pointing, "Um…"

He looked up and saw the fading symbol.

"Your father," She murmured. "This is really not good."

"It is determined." Chiron announced.

All around him, the campers bowed down. The mercs looked puzzled at each other, shrugged, and kneeled too.

"My father?" Percy seemed confused.

"Poseidon." Chiron said. "God of the seas, the water and - "

"Stahp zhat! You're scaring Pyro!" Medic scolded Chiron, putting a hand on Pyro who covered his ears and cowarded in the corner.

Chiron stared at him in bewilderment. "But - "

"Percy, you're son of Poseidon. Ceremony-ceremony, drama-drama, vow-vow, heil-heil!" Medic said impatiently. Everyone was too confused to react.

"Doktor, don't you think that was a little… harsh?" Heavy said.

"Nein, he'll get over it…"

Heavy stared at him with one eyebrow raised.

"Hergh, fine. I'm sorry. Just poor Pyro here can't stand the thought of anything that extingvishes fire."

"Ehh… alright…" Percy decided not to ask anything so his brain won't explode out of sheer confusion.

"Ahem, anyway…" Chiron managed to continue "We'll put you in cabin three, Percy. It's the Poseidon cabin."


	7. Chapter 6

( **A.N** : Hi guys. I'm really sorry for the terrible delay. I didn't have the series in English, and I wanted to stay 100% true to the events, so I had to wait 'till a friend of mine from America bought them for me. After that, I admit, I was a lazy ass. For that reason, I wrote this chapter fast, so it might be roughly written. I'll probably replace it with a cleaner one. Apart from that, I accidently confused Scout with Sniper two chapters ago, so I'm really, really sorry for that horrible mistake. It's fixed now. Anyway, now when that's out of the way, let's get started.)

* * *

After a few days, Mr. D called Percy to the Big House. It was morning time, but the sky were dark and a storm was brewing, rolling over to the camp. Percy approached the front porch nervously. Mr. D and Chiron sat there playing pinochle against invisible opponents.

"Well, well," Mr. D said without looking up. "Our little celebrity."

Percy waited. To the left of Mr. D was Grover, leaning on the railing, cowering. He looked to the right of Mr. D. The air was… shimmering in the form of a person.

"Hey, look at me when I'm talking to you, brat. Come closer. And don't expect for respect just because Aqua-Man is your daddy."

A net of lightning flashed the sky. Thunder shook the house.

"Yeah yeah, we heard you." Dionysus said.

Percy sat. He looked to right of Mr. D again. Some kind of a small light was there. Percy could've sworn he saw smoke coming out of the light.

"If you look away from me one more time, I'm going to…"

"Mr. D, please, decency. Percy, pay attention please." Chiron interrupted.

"Yes sir."

"If I had it my way," Dionysus said, "I would cause your molecules to erupt in flames. We'd sweep up the ashes and..."

"Unfortunately, this is not going to be your way, Mr. Dionysus, so please, if you're not going to do anything but threaten the boy, let me do the talking." An invisible voice said right to Dionysus.

"Who-"

The air shimmered, and Spy appeared. He took a drag out of his cigarette and continued: "let's cut to the chase, Perseus Jackson. We-"

"Excuse me, mortal, but did you just dare to interrupt me?!" Dionysus said in outrage.

"Yes I did, Mr. D, and I'd ask you not to make so much fuss out of it. I reckon you were just going to intimidate him so I decided to continue."

"You dare disrespect me like that?! You petty, no use of a human being! I can annihilate you, turn you into a-"

"Yeah yeah, you could do a lot of horrible things to my body, wow-wow. But please, Mr. D, why are we fighting? You were only going to threaten him to be a good kid, am I right?

"Well…" Dionysus rubbed the back of his head.

"Yes, you would. And you and me both know we are in a shortage of time, so please, I'm sure you have more important business to attend to?" Spy threw his finished cigarette and lit another one.

Dionysus sighed, "Well, I'd won't call it 'threatening', more like warning, but, whatever." He got up "You're lucky that I know you and you are a friend to me, Spy, because if it were any other person, mortal or not, I would decimate him. Still, I don't like being interrupted by those who are lower than me, so don't do that again." He picked up a playing card, twisted it, and it became a security pass card. He snapped his fingers, and his body flickered. Second later and he was gone.

"Well, now when that _parvenu_ is out of the way, we should get stuff done. We-"

"Thanks for saving me there, Spy." Percy thanked him.

"Oh? Ah, yes. No problem, _garçon_. Besides, your death wouldn't have been useful to our needs."

"Your… needs?" Percy asked.

"Me and my colleagues needs, ratherly. We got…" Spy stopped and looked at Chiron and Grover, who looked at him strangely.

"What is the problem? Why- Why are you staring at me?"

"Mister… erm, Spy, you just interrupted and asked Dionysus to go away, without him getting any angry on you and even complying. How…"

"I am a very _diplomatique_ person, and I reckoned Dionysus was a man of honor, so I went for the chance. Simplicity itself."

"Nice… ehm... way to go."

" _Merci_. Now let's get right to it." He took a deep inhale from the cigarette and began:

"Poseidon and Zeus are in a feud. Zeus thinks Poseidon stole his Master Bolt. Zeus's Master Bolt = the first and most powerful weapon that the Elder Cyclopes made for the Olympian gods. Powerful weapon, Zeus's symbol of power. The gods can't steal directly other gods weapons or symbols of powers, so Zeus suspects you stole it. Unless the bolt is returned to him until summer solstice, they will start a war and the world goes ka-boom." Spy stopped to take a breath and waited for everyone's reaction.

Percy looked very disturbed to hear this and bit his lips, thinking. Chiron and Grover stared ,jaw-dropped at Spy. "What?" He said, innocently as a little girl.

"How… Ho-how do you know all this?" Chiron asked him in full shock.

"I have my ways. Don't ask how. Experts don't reveal their ways. Besides, I did it quick and understandable, and that's what important."

"Well… I suppose, roughly speaking, VERY roughly, that this is the basics for the whole case."

"But I didn't steal it! Zeus is insane!" Percy objected.

A thunder sounded.

"Eh, Percy, we don't use the 'I' word to describe king of the sky…"

"Nicely said." Spy chuckled and a lightning erupted.

Chiron stared at him in irritation and said to Percy: "Maybe paranoid. Poseidon schemed against Zeus once before, after all."

"But that is a story for another time. Point is, you need a quest. And the oracle is the one to give you it. Go, she's in the attic, upstairs."

Percy went there.

"You're a very strange mortal, Spy, I'd give you that." Grover said.

Spy threw his cigarette and lit another one.

"By the gods, how much cigarettes do you smoke a day?!" Chiron grumbled.

"As soon as I finish the cigarette I smoked or until my pack is empty."

Chiron stared at him.

"Nah, I'm just joking, _mon centaure ami_. I'm a heavy smoker, but not that heavy. I'm just a bit stressed right now."

"Heh, alright. But please be it your last one, you're stinking up the place."

" _Pas de problème._ "

They sat for few minutes until Percy returned, shivering. He slumped into a chair. "Your description of the oracle wasn't very clear. I thought she was going to be some kind of an old woman. Turns out she's a freaky, skinny mummy." He said grimly to Spy." The latter shrugged.

"Well, Percy? What did she say, precisely?"

"She… she said I would go west and face a god who had turned. I would retrieve what was stolen and see it safely returned."

Spy hummed agreeingly "Seems about right. So, I have news for-"

"Wait a minute. Percy, was that ALL she said?" Chiron asked Percy.

Percy fidgeted, "Eh, yes. Th-that's about all, sir."

Spy raised his eyebrow, and Chiron nodded "Very well, Percy. But don't get to conclusions right away. There's always double meaning to the oracle's words."

"Yes, sir. Sooo… who is this god in the west? Where am I headed?"

"Who would want a war between the Poseidon and Zeus, Perseus Jackson? Who would want to take over their throne? A god who's not happy with his job selection. A god who's brothers forced him with an oath not to bring children to the world, and he seeks revenge."

"Ermm, Hades…?"

"Hades. The devil himself."

"Ha-hades? How?" Grover startled.

"I researched the events of this camp. A fury, agent of Hades, chased Percy in his school trip. A-"

"But Hades hates all the heroes, especially if-"

"A hellhound was summoned here, in order to assassinate Percy! It appears, by the way, I'm not the only spy around…" Spy chuckled, and then continued: "Hades sent a thieve to steal the Master Bolt. He hid in the Underworld, knowing well that it would cause a war between the gods. You need to go to the Underworld, and you need to return that bolt from Hades. Simple, really."

Spy threw his cigarette and studied Percy's face "You look revenge thirsty. Excellent."

Percy's face darkened "But… How am I supposed to this? What, am I just gonna step into the Underworld and ask Hades politely for the bolt?" He said in bitterness.

"No, silly! We're going to guard you, of course."

"Ehrm, mister Spy, by ancient Greek tradition, only three people go on a quest. More than that can create massive damage to the quest."

"It's okay, my employers told me its fine and we're resistant to that… curse, or whatever it is. Besides, I forgot to tell you, another letter was sent to us; An order to bodyguard Percy."

"What's so important in me to bodyguard?"

"I don't know. Somebody in the universe wants you alive, and we are paid to make sure that happen."

Percy noticed how he said 'somebody wanted him alive' and not 'somebody likes him'.

"So do I just go now with you or…"

"What? Nooo, you still need two 'adventure buddies', who I think in this room, have complied."

Percy looked at Grover: "You sure you want to do it, G? You really don't have to."

"Its okay. You saved my life, and you're my best friend." His voice trembling, "Just… satyrs and underground places…" He shivered.

"Thanks, man. You're awesome." Percy's voice was full of thankfulness.

"And the third one…?" Percy looked towards Chiron.

"What, me? Oh, no, child. I'm not a man of quests and such."

"Then who did you refer to, Spy?" Percy turned to him.

"To the young girl behind you, of course."

The air shimmered behind Percy and Annabeth appeared, wearing her invincibility hat.

"Oooh, such a surprise. Who could've guessed." Percy said sarcassticly.

"Shut up, seaweed brain. I've been waiting for this for a long time. I'm also the one to keep you two from messing up."

"Do you even have a plan, wise girl?"

Her cheeks colored. "Do you want my help or not?"

Percy smiled "A trio. And nine other crazy, psychopathic, mortal men. No offence, Spy."

"That's an accurate description of us, why should I be offended?" Spy smiled.

"I still don't trust this nine people add-on to the group. I feel like it might do great trouble." Chiron frowned.

Before Spy could reply, a kid with an envelope run up the stairs.

"Sir, Chiron! A letter to you, from someone who was covered with so much clothes we did identify his face, sex or voice. He just said it's a letter to you. He, or she, looked rather femalish to me, by the way."

Chiron opened the envelope and took the letter out. He read it: " **Dear Chiron the centaur. The nine mortal mercenaries are protected with an ancient spell that keeps them from the curse that only three people can be on a quest. It fools the curse by making it act like the mercenaries are protecting the quest, not joining it, bypassing the curse.**

 **H**."

"Hmm…" Chiron hummed.

"Looks pretty _légitime_ to me." Spy said.

"Argh, fine. You'll set driving this afternoon. We can take you as far as the bus terminal in Manhattan. After that, you are on your own." Chiron looked towards Spy "As far as I remember, you have a truck of your own to drive it. I trust your word, but I still want to hear you swear on River Styx that the harming of the trio tradition won't do critical damage to the quest."

"I swear, on River Styx, that the add-on of my nine co-workers, won't harm the Greek quest curse, or the tradition, that only three members can join a quest. If Percy, Annabeth or Grover, get harmed due to the company of my teammates, may God strike me down and send me to Hell."

A thunder sounded.

"Well… you didn't need to say such a… stiff speech, but that can comply." Chiron said. "No time to waste. All of you should start packing up now."

"An adventure awaits us, gentleman. Let's get to work."


	8. Chapter 7

(A.N: BREAKING NEWS: I DON'T OWN PJ OR TF2! Why am i writing this only now? Well iv'e noticed all those disclaimers and started getting paranoidic. So... yeah. I don't need to write it again and again in the last and following chapters, right?)

 **EDIT: changed Pyro's section and designed it more Pyrolandic.**

* * *

"So are you all set up?" Chiron asked the packing mercenaries.

"I was set up before you were born, son." Engineer said.

Chiron chuckled "How are you going to exactly… accompany them? No offence, but you don't look like your everyday bystander."

"First, we vill drive our truck alongside your transport. Vhen zhey get off, ve vill park ouvers somevhere, and follow zem. Simple!" Medic said.

"Yeah, but how are you going to blend in the crowd? Nine men with uniforms like yours are sure to get some unwanted attention."

"I think we should spread in the crowd, as for our clothes…" Spy said and turned to his teammates.

"Soldier, take your helmet and grenades off."

"NO! NOT MY HELMET! THE ONLY WAY MY HELMET IS GOING TO GET OFF MY HEAD IS BY AN ENEMY'S BULLET!" Soldier yelled at him and held his head as if protecting from someone to take it.

Spy facepalmed; "Mon dieu… FINE! Can you at least take your grenades off?!"

"Hergh, I suppose so."

"Thank you." Spy turned to Pyro: "Is there any chance you can take anything off your suit?"

Pyro held his chin and said (translated from Mumblic): "My water balloons, I suppose, although I don't see what's the problem with them..."

"Your 'water ballons'?" Spy was confused as he didn't quite understand how seeing Pyroland worked.

"His incendiary grenades." Engineer translated, who knew Pyro well. He turned to Pyro. "Buddy, while we're fighting, I mean, playing, with the Blues, they don't care getting wet by your water balloons. But since we're not with BLU anymore, but in a foreign universe, we don't know if the people here like to get wet. We'll ask them on the trip, okay?"

"Opahy!" Pyro "said".

"Just be the one to stay out of crowds the most, alright?" Spy continued. "Demoman, grenades and ballistic vest."

"K', lad!" Demoman removed his grenades and

"Heavy, ammo belt."

"But what if Sasha runs out of food?

"You mean ammo? Engineer can build a dispenser."

"Da. Okay."

"Engineer, none of your equipment will cause a problem… Medic too… Sniper, take out the extra bullets you have in your coat."

"Alright, Spook, but what about you, eh? You ain't lookin' the your ordinary man in street."

"As a Spy, you know, I can't take my mask or my gloves off. I have my clock to keep me covered."

"How your disguise kit works in this world? Surely, dressing as RED won't help ya here…" Sniper scratched his head.

"Mann Co. thought of this problem and brought me a special device that I need to tag my target with it so I can disguise as it."

"Goody."

"Everyone take a walkie-talkie. There's eighth of them since Scout has his antenna." (A.N: Antenna? Radio? I'dunno how you say it. The little transmitter he has on his scouting cap.)

"How are you going to hide your weapons?" Chiron asked.

"We have special bags that we can hide them in there, that are resistant to metal checkers, and no matter how big the weapons are it will fit inside. Unfortunately, we don't have extra bags for the equipment, but we'll ask Mann Co. when we can contact them."

"Hey Chiron we finished packing!" Percy yelled to the centaur, approaching with Annabeth and Grover.

"Alright heroes!" Chiron turned to the mercs; "I need to have a short talk with them so…"

"Under-stood. Come'on, men. Fire up the truck!" Engineer said.

Shortly after, they set to the road. Argus drove Percy, Annabeth and Grover, and the mercs followed them with their truck.

After Argus dropped them off, the mercs started to spread out and tailed them to the bus station.

Spy talked to his device: "If we all got in there together, it would look very suspicious. Scout, you look the most ordinary of all of us. Defend them there."

"Roger', Mask-Man!" Scout replied.

"Next of the team, regroup on the truck. Scout will guide us to where the bus is and we'll follow them. I got a tracker device but I prefer not to waste it now. Move up!"

When the bus arrived, the three heroes got inside. Percy looked behind him to see if any of the mercenaries followed. He saw Scout, who winked at him. Behind him, three old ladies followed.

Percy shivered in fear to discover it was Mr. Dodds, the math teacher for turned out to be a witch-demon thingy.

He tried to alert Scout in silence but the latter already sat down and put his ear-buds on.

"Oh crap, we're in really big trouble now… Think! Think!" Percy thought to himself.

Scout was enjoying himself a nice, cozy song.

"Man, the new album of H.A.C0mp0sure really rocks da spot!" He thought to himself…

Suddenly, he felt something touching him.

Scout immediately pulled out his pistol and aimed at the invisible enemy

"Hey, Scout, it's me, calm down!" A whisper was heard.

"Pers'?"

Percy revealed himself, taking a cap off.

"What's de prob', br-"

"Scout, there is monsters on this bus. They are making their way to Annabeth and Grover."

Scout sheathed his pistol and pulled out his scattergun. "Fine, let's blast 'em!"

"No! I don't any of the civilians to get hurt. So…"

"Oh com'on, I'm a hotshot!

"Scout…"

"Oh fine…"

Suddenly, screams were heard from the back of the buss.

"Crap, they got to them! Listen, distract those witches with your bat, I will try to stop the bus."

"Deal."

Scout jumped out of his seat, pulled out his pistol and shot in up to get the monsters attention.

"Yo, you hairy bird-heads! Look at me!"

The demons looked away from Annabeth and Grover and hissed at him.

"That's right, you pigeons with legs, I'm talking to you!"

"Do you wish death that hard, mortal?" They shrieked.

"Amazing! Pigeons with legs AND the ability to talk? Wow!" Scout kept taunting.

"You asked for it, foolish boy!" And they charged at him.

The first one went straight at him. Scout bashed her back and smacked her down on the ground. The monster dissolved to yellow dust.

The second one climbed the sides of the bus like a spider and leaped at him, but he quickly batted her back. He run to finish him but the third one jumped at him from no where and pinned him to the ground.

"Oh crap! Get off me! Get off me!" Scout tried to fight back but she was too strong. The demon raised her hand as to slash him, but suddenly the bus went whirling and she felled off him. He tried to position himself but kept falling down.

Finally, the bus crashed on a tree. The doors opened and all the passengers rushed out, almost stamping Scout to death. When he got up, he saw the fury standing on top of him, smiling evilly. She pulled out a flaming whip and screamed: "Feel the wrath of Hades, weakling!" and raised the whip as if about to cast a spell.

"AHHHHHHHHHHH!" Scout screamed, covering his face in defense.

But the stab didn't come. Scout opened his hands a little bit to see a sharp object coming out of the witch's chest.

The monster gasped and crumpled too.

"Come on, get up!" Annabeth said, returning her knife to her holster and reached her hand for him.

"Thanks, girl…" He got up, "But where is the third witch?"

"Grover keeps her busy, but-"

"YARGH!" The fury roared and throw Grover off her back.

"TAKE THAT!" Scout cried and gave his strongest hit on the monster's head, sending her flying to the back of the bus.

"Zeus will destroy you!" She promised. "Hades will have your soul!"

"Hey, ya head's a freakin' bat magnet, don't blame me!" Scout laughed as he approached the ugly thing with his bat.

Thunder shook the bus. Annabeth yelled "Guys! Get off the bus! Scout, abandon her! GET OFF THE BUS NOW!"

"We'll meet again, witch!" Scout said quickly and jumped out of the window.

"Wait, Scout! Our bags!" Grover realized, "We left them in the-"

Not a second later, the vehicle was struck by a lighting and exploded.

"Welp', it's a bit too late for that now…" Scout sighed.

An angered wail was heard coming out of the bus.

"Run!" Annabeth said."She's calling reinforcements! We got to get out of here!"

"Scout?! Do you copy?! We heard an explosion, is everyone alright?!" Scout's earpiece buzzed.

"Yes, Spy, but we'll need backup!"

"Okay, where are you?"

"Didn't have time to read the street sign. Follow the noise of the explosion or tail a police car, I don't care. Moving in to the forest. Meet us there."


	9. Chapter 8

(A.N: Back from the dead and reporting for duty! Excuse: We have a one month full of holidays in Israel so I was in a lot of vacations outa country. As for story stuff, I really didn't know how to describe Medusa's lair because I never understood how it looks, so forgive me for the poor description.)

* * *

The heroes traveled across the woods, Percy, Annabeth and Grover chatting and Scout with his ear-buds on again.

Percy touched Scout.

"Yeah?" Scout said as he pulled the ear-buds off.

"There's a weird shop here that smells real good, maybe a snack bar. We're going inside."

Scout took a quick look at the place and immediately nodded, "Eh, no! Really? A snack bar in a middle of no-where? Not buying it."

Percy scowled. "Hey, since when you are my dad-" Percy shook his head when he remembered his compliance to Smelly Gabe. "Never mind."

Scout smiled "Family troubles?"

"None of your business."

Scout shrugged, "Fine. But you're still not going in there. Maybe we wait 'till Spy comes so he can cloak and-"

"Scout…"

"Argh, fine. I hate acting like a babysitter anyway." He pulled his pistol and tossed it to Percy, "But if you don't want to get liquidated in there, I'd suggest you take this."

Percy looked at him in disbelief, "I never used a gun!"

Scout rolled his eyes. "You point at the douche you don't like, you pull the trigger, puff, bam, dang, He's dead. Simple."

"But I don't have a big enough pocket to hide it, nor do Annabeth, or Grover." He tossed the pistol back to Scout "We're going to do fine, and it's final. Stand guard."

Scout raised his hands in surrender, "Alright, bro. Just tried to be helpful, don't need to be so hostile…"

Percy ignored him and went to knock on the door, only to be stopped by Grover. "Percy, I think Scouts' right. I don't trust this place, and one of the stone statues looks to me like my uncle Ferdinand."

"Come on, Grover. We're hungry and 'Aunty Em's Garden Gnome Emporium' doesn't sound like the lair of a serial killer to me."

As they continued arguing on their way to the door, Scout laid down behind a tree and put on his ear-buds again. He decided to no bother with how does the store clerk looks like because he also speculated that "Aunty Em's Garden Gnome Emporium" doesn't sound like a lair of a serial killer. He closed his eyes slowly to the calming "Mmph the Way You Mmph" song.

* * *

Spy looked down on the snoring Scout and sighed. "Idiot…" He muttered and slapped Scout's head.

"Ouch!" Scout wailed and opened his eyes, "Hey, not cool, man. Not cool."

"You know what's really not cool? You, not guarding the VIPs!"

"Well they didn't want me to go and they really insisted so I-"

"Look away from her!" Suddenly a scream was heard.

"Oh, great, now what happened?" Spy grumbled.

Sniper scoped on the place the sound came from. "What the bloody hell is this thing?" He appalled. All he could see was a big, head-looking thing full of mini snakes. He decided to take the shot and pulled the trigger but the thing moved and Sniper was only able to kill some snakes.

The creature let out a painful wail.

"GUYS! DON'T LOOK AT HER FACE!" A yell that belonged to Annabeth was heard.

Everybody immediately dived to the ground.  
"Alright, mates. Any ideas of how do we kill a thing we can't look at?" Sniper said.

"How 'boot I send some pipes up that ugly lass's ass?" Demoman grinned.

"You mean bombard it? You do realize we have some VIPs to secure and make sure they don't get hurt, drunky." Engineer reminded Demoman.

"Oh, bloody hell, rite…" Demoman scratched his head in embarrassment.

"Hmmm…" Heavy mused, "Doktor, do you have Ubercharge ready?"

"Vell, ja. I prepared it before the journey. Should ve charge ze beast vith it?" Medic said.

"Da, but first…" Heavy raised his head, eyes still closed, and yelled: "LITTLE MAN WE ARE SUPPOSED TO GUARD! WHAT IS THIS MONSTER?"

"Great job doing so…" Grover grumbled.

"It's Medusa! She can turn people to stone just by looking at them!" Annabeth yelled.

A sound of a door opening was heard.

"Oh, and she's coming after you! Watch out!" Annabeth added.

"How do you say it in English, doktor? Rock'n'Load?" Heavy smiled.

"Maybe?" Medic raised his eyebrow.

"AHHHH!" Scout screamed in pain.

"GO! CHARGE ME!" Heavy cried and stormed the place Scout was laying.

"HEYAH!" Heavy yelled and grabbed something that was most likely a neck. He tackled whatever it was and put it to the ground. "TAKE THIS! AND THAT! ARGH!" He roared as he punched something was most likely a head. He kept punching his mighty fists until he felt nothing. Heavy opened his eyes and saw a female, headless body, in a pool of green liquid, surrounded by a few dead snakes. Suddenly, he felt something strange on his hands, chest and hands and realized they are melting because of the probably toxic blood.

"Heyar-grgh! Help me doctor!" He cried.

"Oh, don't be such a baby, I'm right here." Medic said cheerfully as he healed Heavy.

"Why didn't doktor charge me?" Heavy asked Medic.

"Vell, I didn't vant to vaste it."

"Waste an Ubercharge?" Heavy scratched his head.

"Oh, alright, I vas lazy and didn't vant to sit and build it later."

"Thank you guys!" Annabeth, Percy and Grover cheered as they exited the house.

Spy threw his cigarette and lit another one. "Oh, It's fine. Just next time listen to Scout when he says…" He looked around, concerned. "Wait, what happened to Scout-"

"AHHHHHH!" Annabeth screamed and covered her eyes.

"Oh no…" Percy and Grover murmured and looked away.

Scout was laying in a pool of blood, his head slashed to bits by Medusa's fangs.

"I can't believe it, my gods… I should've listened to him…" Percy started sobbing.

"Oh, calm down, boy. You should never worry about us when we die." Spy assured him.

"Why?" Percy asked, in tears.

"Doctor, if you please." Spy raised his hands towards Medic.

Medic snapped his fingers and a machine came out of Scout's body. It opened up and showed a hologram of Scout. Medic pointed his Medigun towards the hologram and started healing it.

Scout's body started to reform. The blood flew right back to the neck and his head bits reassembled and connected to the neck. The body started to fly to a regular T-pose and… BAM! Scout was back from the dead in a flashing, bright, blue light.

"BOOM, DUMMY! GUESS WHO IS BACK!" Scout rejoiced and whistled.

"Di Immortals…" Annabeth muttered.

"This is not good." Grover said nervously.

"Hey, I'm annoying but not THAT annoying, guys!"

"No, no. I mean… Scout, what do you remember from… well, dying?" Annabeth asked him.

"Was in some kind of a doctor waiting room, buncha ghost-lookin' peeps… Oh! There was this funny looking black dude with blond hair in the desk! Maybe a secretary or somethin'…"

"Did he say anything to you?"

"Well, I knew that doc was probably gonna revive me so I didn't sign up to the hell just yet."

"That's not good that you have this machine." Annabeth frowned in concern. "Hades doesn't like people returning from the dead. He'll send the furies after you."

"Those bird-like, witchy, old hags? Pffft, don't make me laugh."

Annabeth shrugged. "Fine, just saying… When we enter the Underworld… Hades will probably be anxious to collect your soul."

"K'."

"Well, we can deal with whatever fights us. But that doesn't matter right now. We had a long, tough night. I'd suggest you sleep here in the house." Spy interrupted.

"Is there even beds here?"

"Yep'." Engineer answered from the front of the door, beer in his hand. "Got three nice beds for y'all, some drachmas, some 'mortal' money, even a 'Hermes Overnight Express' packing slips!"

"Hm, would be cool if we sent those irritating gods Medusa's head." Percy mused with a smile.

"Sure, would be very cool to get burned to ashes." Grover grumbled.

"So yo' wanna play a on da gods, eh, lad?" Demoman said with a sly grin.

A few minutes, and an explosive-strapped delivery package was sent to Mt. Olympus.

"Good, so you will hurt the gods for a prank? Sounds a good way for safe life." Grover muttered.

"Oh, calm down, goat-lad. I didn't put explosives in it, just some stinkin' garbage that will sure to make their fancy pants a bit less clean!" Demoman burped and high-fived Percy.

"I don't think that it's most safe to stay in here. Surely a ton of monsters would come to pulverize us." Annabeth said.

"Nonnn-sense! With our firepower and strength, no monster would even DARE to get close to you!" Soldier yelled and clenched his fists.

"Alright, boss. Just make sure I will get up alive in the morning." Annabeth yawned.

"Come, darling. I'll show you guys the way to your rooms." Engineer said with a wave.

"And thus, gentleman, our first day ends!" Spy concluded.


	10. Chapter 9 (REAL)

(A.N: Hi there. I changed a few things, the notification you got for a new chapter is because I accidently deleted the Prologue, so I had to re-add it. I've changed some minor things, like changing the salaries of the mercs from 100$ to thousands of dollars. Spoiler, they'll get 1M$ each year (book). Maybe it's too high, too low, IDK. I'm not a mercenary expert, Guys! Throw me a freakin' bone here! I of course fixed the mistake of confusing Sniper and Scout in chapter 4, changing the names and obviously, the slang. And minor-major thing, changed Natasha to Sasha in chapter 1. Accidently confused the two. They only have stock weapons, for now. Probably should explain that somewhere. Anyone, thanks for still reading this even though I'm a terrible writer. I mostly blame because I don't understand at all how to use it. At any rate… Wait, am I doing this again? DAMMIT, ELAM! YOU'RE WRITING A STORY, NOT A BIOGRAPHY!)

* * *

"MOOOOOORNIG, TROOPERS!"

Percy, Annabeth and Grover immediately woke up to the scream.

"Soldier? Wh-what are you doing here?" Percy said, rubbing his eyes.

"Well, we can't let you sleep all day, can we, young man? You need to be prepared to act in any hour of the day, meaning you need to wake up early as possible!" Soldier shouted while holding his shotgun.

"What… What time is it, anyway?" Annabeth asked in dizziness.

"SIIIIIX A-M! I wanted to get your ass up at three A.M with a shotgun blast near your ears, but the damn soft-as-a-rabbit Frenchie said it might hurt your little eardrums!"

Spy appeared behind Soldier with an apologizing look. "That's the best I could have got out of him, Chase. Besides, there's someone… something… that we thought you might want to check out."

"Fine, but first of all = breakfast." Percy yawned.

As they came down the stairs, they saw that all the mercs got nice and cozy. Sniper was drinking coffee, Engineer sat without his goggles and hardhat (A.N: Just google it, he looks pretty much the same in most pics.) on an armchair and reading the newspaper, Heavy standing and eating his sandvich, Medic cooking breakfast with Demoman, Scout snoring on the couch... and Pyro, petting a pink poodle.

"That's what you wanted us to check?" Annabeth asked.

"Oui. After all, a pink poodle in the middle of the forest is quite the confusing look." Spy explained while taking a coffee mug Sniper offered him. "We thought maybe Grover could communicate with it."

"How did you know?" Grover frowned.

"Wild guess…? Pretty sure a Satyr, who is a half-animal, can communicate with animals?"

"Well… yeah. I can. I'll talk to it a bit." Grover said as he attended to the poodle.

"So, update me." Percy told Spy while sitting down to an omelet.

"We need to get to Los Angeles. Buses are now off the board, considering our last incident." Spy took a sip from the mug. "The best route would be the Amtrak train. Problem is, we don't have enough money."

"Combined ours, yours and Aunty's Em's?"

"Oui."

"So, how about-"

"Hey guys, meet Gladiola." Grover broke in with the poodle. "Say hello."

"Hi, Gladiola." Annabeth greeted the poodle casually.

"Percy, Spy, you too." Grover ordered in serious matter.

"What? I'm not going to say hi to a poo-"

"Percy," Annabeth said. "I said hi to the poodle, Grover said hi to the poodle, you will say hi to the poodle."

"Hi, poodle." Percy muttered.

"Spy, you too."

The poodle growled.  
"Bonjour, caniche." Spy grumbled.

"Hello there, pinky!" Sniper giggled as he approached the group. "So, what does the dog say?" (A.N: *wink-wink* …Bad one? Okay, sorry.)

"He says that he escaped from his family, and they are offering 200$ for him"

"Whoa, did somebody said 200$?!" Scout suddenly woke up with a cheer.

"Not for you, dummy. Go back to sleep." Engineer threw the newspaper at Scout's head and got up. "Say, how does the dog know all this?"

"He read the signs," Grover said. "Duh."

"Oh, absolutely."

"…Annnd who would be the most perfect to get the poodle, fast and secure, back?" Scout made a back-flip. "Meee!"

"Fine, but if you waste any of the money…" Spy pointed his finger at Scout."

"Yeah, yeah. You'll reap my arms off."

"I was thinking more about your precious legs, but we can add that too."

"Welp', just give me the address and I'll be on mah way!"

After a short fifteen minutes, Scout was back with a wad of cash.

"Good job." Spy took the wad out of his hands.

"I'm awesome." Scout flexed a scrawny arm.

"You do realize you just brought a dog back?"

"But I did it better than anybody else could!"

Spy sighed and split the money between the trio.

"But how are you going to come? Nine fully armed and armored man entering a subway? The entire SWAT force will come." Percy asked.

"That's why only the Texan will come with you." Spy said and gestured towards Engineer, who was picking up a big tool box. "A construction worker shouldn't be able to raise too much suspicion."

"What's in the box?" Annabeth asked Engi.

"A Telemax Teleporter." Engineer said casually as he laid down the box.

Almost immediately, the box opened up, and a weird machine came out. The machine slowly started to open up. Engineer punched it a few times with the wrench and it fully unloaded.

"What does it do?" Grover asked, inspecting it.

"Gee, what could possibly a TELEPORTER do?" Engineer said in sarcasm.

"You mean this can actually transport materials through composing the object's atoms?" Annabeth asked in astonishment. (A.N: I just threw a bunch of English science words I knew of… derp.)

"With the help of a bit Australium, medicine equipment, and various metal parts, yes. You need of courseto utilize the advantage of-"

"Thank you, Engineer, I don't think there's needing to expand!" Spy said quickly. "You can have your science chit-chat later. Currently, there's important work to be done and precious time that should not to be wasted." He turned to Percy. "Engi' will lay down the teleporter when you'll get to the destination. Then we will pass through and continue escorting you."

"All right than, let's hit the road." Percy said and finished his omelet.

(A.N: Sorry for the chapter being short and action empty, but hey, so was the original chapter 12 "We Get Advice From A Poodle", at least for me.)


	11. Chapter 10

(A.N: I didn't die. Yes, shocking, even for me. Anyway, my computer broke down. I had, like, to buy a new and better one (with my father helping me pay, I'm not that rich), restore all memory, re-download all games… Good lord, what a mess that was. So really forgive for not updating. I shall start writing a.s.a.p! BTW, I found that really funny that people still continued following me, even though I didn't update! Thank y'all for ya faith! Well, 'nuff chattin', where were we? Oh, BTW, I decided that I won't use weapon changes that happened in Gun Mettle and Tough Break updates, but I will use new weapons, skins, cosmetics, game modes, taunts, etc.)

Engineer looked out the train window. It's been two days since they went aboard on the Amtrak train. The Texan didn't have much in common with Percy and Grover, and Annabeth was mostly talking with them. Guess she didn't like mercenaries and mortals, like the rest of the folks at Camp Half-Blood. Even after they got well and cozy, the campers were very reluctant of the mercenaries.

Engineer huffed and slowly drifted into sleep, but the intercom had different plans:

"All passengers! We arrived on the Amtrak station downtown! Please remember to collect all your belongings and have a nice day! Three-hour layover until the ride to Denver!"

Engineer got up, put his hardhat on, and picked his toolbox.

"Well, you find a place to place your teleporter, Engi, we'll go to the Gateway Arch for some sightseeing." Annabeth told to Engi.

"Alright, but take mah pistol with you for safet-"

"I told Scout and will tell you: We will not have a gun with us! Especially not now, in a closed space." Percy said, aggressively.

"Well ya saw what happened at Aunty's Em Something-Something, right? This time it is finale. Take, a, damn, gun!"

"As I said before, I don't even know how to shoot one!"

"YOU POINT THE DARN THING AT THE-"

"I GOT THE INSTRUCTIONS! I DON'T WANT TO-"

"Guys, please, stop fighting. The guards are watching us, quite displeased." Grover begged.

Percy took a deep breath and Engi rubbed his hardhat.

"I'm sorry, I should've calmed down and…" Percy started apologizing.

"No, no, kid. I need to control my anger management, comes along with the age and…" Engi started explaining.

"Look, if you look at it logically, I don't know how to aim a gun properly, right? What if I hurt anyone or, gods forbid, killed somebody? I could never live with that, and this whole quest will fail."

"Yes, yes, I understand, go along."

"Thanks, and sorry."

"Ditto. Watch yourself back there!"

Engineer watched as they walked away.

"Well, that was awkward." He murmured. "Okay, focus. Where can I find a good place to hide the tele?"

After a few minutes, Engineer found a quite deserted alleyway, near the Arch, and placed the teleporter. Soon, all the mercs were together again.

"Well, that was quite the boring wait!" Spy brushed his suit.

"That makes tha nine of us. Gosh, two days doing nothing. Can't wait for some action!" Scout stretched.

"Be careful vhat you vish for." Medic adjusted his glasses.

"Hey, Texan! Where are the trio?" Spy asked Engineer, suspicious.

"Oh, well. Heh, see, they wanted to go to the Arch and, heh, well…" Engineer gulped.

"Engineer. Did you let them go, without any supervision? After the last incident?" Spy approached Engineer in a menacing walk. Engineer knew that walk. Spy did during battle, when he was about to backstab someone.

"Well, see, I thought, I mean, monsters don't attack in front of mortals, right?" Engineer cringed as Spy toward above him.

"Are you aware of the thing called Mist?! What the hell were you thinking-"

"Com'on, Spook. Cut him some slack. Maybe-" Sniper put his hand on Spy's arm.

"Maybe what? What could possibly make him let them go?!" Spy yelled.

Engineer stood firmly and looked at Spy right in his eyes. "Well listen', pall! I couldn't just stop them forcefully! I-"

"You could at least went with them! What did you-"

An explosion cut their argument. They looked above them. There was a hole in the Arch.

"Oh, good! Look what happened now!" Spy yelled.

"How it is my faul-"

"GET YOUR DAMN SHIT TOGETHER, FRENCH AND TOAST! OUR TARGETS ARE BEING ATTACKED! WE NEED TO GET UP THERE AS QUICKLY AS POSSIBLE!" Soldier screamed at them. "That's why I grabbed a grappling hook from the truck!" He pulled said hook from his belt and suddenly, the B.A.S.E Jumper appeared on his back and he grabbed it two.

"From where tha hell did ya get that?!" Scout called in surprise.

"An invisibility spell I stole from Merasmus!" Soldier grinned.

"First time ya did somethin' smart," Demoman grunted, "But who's gonna geet up there? Ye only got one."

"Hmm, ve vill need a close-quarter-combatant, obviously." Medic started walking in circles and quickly planned. "Ve know it can breathe fire, and in a large scale, so Pyro vould be a good option. Only problem, ve can't torch the vhole place up and ve don't know if it's fire resistant. Scout vould be too veak."

"Hey!" Scout protested.

"Heavy!" Medic pointed at the Russian, startling him. "You are our only option!"  
"Merph, wroulph hevah enpahpher pha phillians?" Pyro asked Medic.

"Yes, Heavy can't use Sasha."

Heavy sighed in frustration.

"Yes, I know. But it'll just slow you down and you might damage someone vhen you spray it."

"So shotgun?" Heavy asked.

"Take it vith you, but I think you should rely on your fists, vonce more. A monster that breathes fire in such a large scale is surely too big for a shotgun."

"Very well. Heavy is always happy to use hands to kill babies."

Another fiery explosion erupted on the Arch. Sniper scoped on the place.

"Holy dooley! That Percy boy is about to jump!"

"Now go!" Medic barked.

Heavy took the grapple hook and the B.A.S.E Jumper from Soldier's hands and charged, leaping from building to building.

'Hmph, that Mann Co. grappling hook training before we were introduced to Mannpower sure paid off!' He thought. (A.N: I would kill for a TF2/AOT crossover. Sure, the video was cool, but a real fanfiction would be awesome.) Heavy quickly shot the hook towards the hole and rushed in.

* * *

Percy was not having a good time. The Chimera and Echidna had him pinned down, and no help was on the way. He looked behind him and gulped. His only option is to jump to the river. He can only hope the monsters will not hurt the mortals.

"Jump, Perseus Jackson. Prove that you're the Son of Poseidon!" Echidna hissed.

The Chimera was about to unleash another wave of flames. He got to do it. Percy prepared to leap… wait, who's that scream belongs to?

"HERE I COME!" A familiar voice came behind him.

Percy's eyes widened. He quickly jumped away before a very large figure came flying through the hole.

BAM!

That was the sound of a big Russian man striking a critical hit on a Chimera.

The monster fell down on the floor, unconscious, but alive. Heavy made sure it won't be both.

"Eat my boot, you dirty worm!" Heavy stomped the Chimera over and over until it dissolved. He turned to Echidna.

"NOOO! HOW DARE YOU, FILTHY MORTAL, TO KILL MY CHILD?" The ugly thing bellowed.

"I am going to tear your jaw out, сука!" Heavy pulled his shotgun out and shot all six pellets at Echidna. It damaged her and she cried in pain, but sure wasn't going to die anytime soon.

"Stupid mortal! You think you can kill me, Echidna, mother of all monsters, with a puny gun?!" The monster roared.

"Heavy understands. Heavy will have to kill you the old fashioned way." He threw the B.A.S.E Jumper to Percy. "Go! You pull the red chute thing!" He yelled.

"But I've never used a parachute before!" Percy said.

"There's a first time for-" He was cut by Echidna leaping on him. "Go!"

"Here's goes nothing." Percy muttered and jumped.

At first everything seemed fine. Percy closed his eyes, waited five seconds and pulled the chute.

"Oh, gods. Don't look down." He whispered.

But then, the parachute seemed to weaken. A rope tore.

"Oh, come on!" He wailed. The second rope tore.

"Think, think…" Percy bit his lip. The third rope tore.

"Well, back to my original plan I guess!" He drifted towards the river. The final rope tore and he plummeted to the water.

* * *

"OH BLOODY HELL!" Sniper, who was still scoping on the hole, yelled.

"What's happening?!" Spy grabbed the small binoculars he always keeps in his suit and looked out.

"Good lord! HE'S FALLING TO HIS DEATH!" He screamed.

Through the binoculars, he saw Percy, with the B.A.S.E Jumper on his back, parachuteless, falling to the river.

"Everyone stay put! I'll cloak and disguise as some civilian to get closer!" Spy said and quickly rushed towards the scene.

When he arrived, close to the river, he spotted Annabeth and Grover talking to someone. Is it… He got closer. Percy! Thanks God… Gods...

Annabeth saw him and her eyes widened. "Oh, hello, officer! We were just taking our little brother out of the-"

"Wait, officer?" Spy didn't notice who he was tagging. He just knocked out some poor guy and ran.

"Wait, is it you, Spy? Not the best disguise to get close to-"

"Sir!" An officer approached him. "Our forces is rushing in. We'll evacuate the civilians as soon as possible!" He frowned. "What are those kids doing in the-"

"Oh, they're just silly kids playing. I was just telling them to get out when you got here. Come on, there's more serious problems at hand!" He nodded to the trio and went with the officer.

Grover sighed in relief. "Alright, let's get out of-"

"Hey kids! What are you doing in the river?" Another officer approached them.

Before they could respond, yet another familiar voice came behind them: "Oh, hello, officer! I was just takin' ma' brothers! They are just fooling around! Forgive them please!" Scout appeared, grabbed Percy out of the water, and pushed them.

The officer looked confused. "But…"

"Bye! Thank you" And they ran away.

Soon they were with the rest of the group. Spy de-cloaked next to them and heavy dropped down from the roof, his clothes ragged and sliced.

"The little fat monster baby lady was no problem. Heavy destroyed her and wiped her dust blood off his clothes. The problem was the American police shooting at me, but I think I managed to escape them." He explained.

"Let's have a short break. I feel like I haven't smoked in years." Spy suggested and lit up a cigarette. He offered one to Sniper.

"Ya said good, mate." Demoman brought out beers he bought beforehand and offered one to Soldier. Heavy took out a sandwich he made in Medusa's lair. Scout took out a soda. Pyro sat down and burned some papers.

"Ve are quite in a problem now. Ve'll have to hide even more carefully." Medic said.

"Not the trio. I'm still not a suspect. I can still go with 'em." Engineer said. He pulled out his Destruction PDA and pressed the button. Then he changed to the Construction PDA and pressed another button. Immediately a toolbox appeared in his hands.

"What's this?!" Annabeth called in bewilderment.

"Hmm? Oh, yeah. Mann Co's finest number. You need to have some metal, any metal, in your pocket, pull this device out, press what do you want to build, you can put up to four machines, and a toolbox with the item you wanted in it will appear in your hands! Rather fine, right?" Engineer explained, clearly content telling about the wonders of Mann Co. technology.

"How is it even possible?!" Annabeth was clearly astonished with those strange mortals.

"As I said before, darling. Australium. Possibly the greatest element to exist in any universe, dimension, or cosmos. I can safely say Australium is basically physical magic. You can literally create, build and destroy anything with it."

"Wow… I would love to get my hands on a chunk." Annabeth said, passionately.

Engineer chuckled. "A chunk of this fine thing would cost ya up to five trillion dollars, and with Australium slowly depleting from Australia… Prices are high as ever."

"Alright, enough chatting." Spy said and threw down his cigarette. The rest of the mercs also quit their activity and got up. "Engineer, place the teleporter. Good job, everyone. Let's get going."


	12. Chapter 11

A.N: Hello! Yes, I'm still here! I'm really sorry that I forgot to put a "Hiatus" tag! I know how you must feel, I hate dead fanfics as much as the next man. Anyway, I have felt even a worse feeling: Writer's Block. I was so shocked, I thought I have this story in my pocket and here I am, didn't know how to write this chapter. I personally think it's boring and just some dull filler, but, I am stupid because I couldn't think of an original fic, and now I must suffer the consequences of having to write exactly according to the original story's plot. Anyway, I also discovered that Germans have a problem pronouncing "Th" (and apparently French too), like "W"… Yeah… we already covered that I'm stupid. I will try to edit that later. Anyway, shameless self-loathing away… Let's continue.

P.S: Thank you, CannedPsycho. I realized it's a low as hell price for Australium, and raised to 5B. I'll think about adding the big battle part, sounds like a good idea.

* * *

After the train arrived on Denver, they continued their journey to downtown, searching for… well, Engineer didn't quite understand where they are supposed to go. Annabeth just said, "We need to contact Camp Half-Blood", but was unable to provide how or where to do so.

Finlay, they got to an empty do-it-yourself car wash. They veered through the place, watching out for patrol cars. Engineer's clothes aren't going to do much help here. What kind of plumber wears a hardhat and goggles?

Engineer took off his hardhat and wiped his head. "Eh, Miss Annabeth, with all the respect, what are we exactly doing here?"

Annabeth and Grover stopped next to a stall. Grover took out the spray gun.

"it's seventy-five cents," he grumbled. "I've only got two quarters left. Annabeth?"

"Don't look at me," She said. "The dining car wiped me out".

Engineer rummaged through one of his pockets and pulled out several coins. He pecked through the pile a pulled out a quarter. "Here, catch." he said and tossed Grover the coin.

"Excellent," Grover said. "We could do it with a spray bottle, of course, but-"

"Oh, just get on with it." Engineer said. "Show your little magic trick or whatever."

Grover made a face. "You better listen. It's the best and fastest way to contact people in this world."

Engineer sighed. "Fine. What is it?"

"I-M'ing." He fed in the quarters and set the knob to FINE MIST.

Percy scratched his head. "Instant messaging?"

" _Iris_ messaging." Annabeth corrected. "The rainbow goddess Iris carries messages for the gods. If-"

"Then what's the difference between her and Hermes?"

"They are both messengers of the gods. Iris pre-dates Hermes, though. They, of course, also look different from each other."

"Hmm, interesting."

"Yes, but continuing with Iris, if you know how to ask, and if she's not too busy, she can carry messages for half-bloods, too."

"You summon the goddess with a spray gun?"

Grover pointed the nozzle in the air and water hissed out in a thick white mist. Sure enough, late afternoon light filtered through the vapor and broke into colors. "Unless you know a better way to make a rainbow."

Engineer raised his hand. "Actually, there's at least five other ways to make rainbows! For example, we can-"

"Yes, yes. I'm sure there is. But is there a faster way to do it now?" Annabeth challenged.

"Eh, well, I guess we don't have the necessary instruments right now," He admitted. "So… yeah. Go along."

"Thank you." She turned to Percy. "Drachma, please." Percy gave her the coin.

She raised the coin over her head and chanted: "O goddess, accept our offering." She threw the drachma into the rainbow. It disappeared in a golden shimmer.

"Half-Blood Hill," Annabeth requested. For a moment, nothing happened, but then, the mist formed into an image of no other the camp's strawberry fields. The image seemed to show from the porch of the Big House. Standing with his back to the picture was the figure of Luke Castellan.

"Luke!" Percy called.

Luke turned, his eyes widened. "Percy! Is that Annabeth, too? Thank the gods! Are you guys okay?"

Engineer pulled his overalls up. "Welp', tell me on the rest later. I'll be waiting close."

The Texan leaned against a pole. He reached for his guitar, but then remembered that he left it in the camp. Engie was starting to get bored from this trip. He didn't get to fight anything since the Minotaur, and even that was an ugly battle. He didn't need to build, repair or work on anything. He usually hates missions which he had to be a mobile bodyguard. After all, he's a stationary combatant.

Engineer sighed. "Welp', better pass the time with some good ol' mathematical equations." He thought. He pulled a pencil and some papers out of his pouches and prepared to write some of his favorite astrophysical formulas, but then a big Lincoln Continental pulled into the car wash with its stereo turned to maximus hip-hop. As the car slid into the next stall, the bass from the subwoofers vibrated so much, it shook the pavement.

"Ugh, I'm never gonna get a moment of rest, am I?" Engineer sighed. "Huh, hip-hop. Never liked it." He walked to the car and tapped the window. The window opened and a young guy that looked like Scout with a Backwards Ballcap, only smugger (if that's possible), smiled to Engie. "Hello! Whadya need?"

Engineer smiled back. "Howdy. Say, mister, mind lowering the music?"

"Oh, come on, man. It's not like you're talking on the phone or anything, right?"

"Yeah, but my friends are. So, if you could…"

"Ah, okay." He rolled one of the switches in the car, and the sound lowered in a not-so-significant matter.

"Eh, that's still too much. Can you turn it off completely?" Engineer struggled to keep his smile on.

"Oh, come on! It's my favorite song! Can't your friends walk further away?" The guy protested.

"All right, pal. I'm starting to lose mah patience. Stop that music, right now!" Engineer wasn't going to play games with this boy.

"Oh, we startin' with the intimidation, eh?" The guy opened the door and got out. He pulled out of his pocket a switchblade and pointed it at the Texan.

"Well, how about you listen, _pal._ This is America, and I have the right to hear music on my car whenever I want and however I like it, and you ain't gonna tell me what to do. Don't mess with me, gramps!" He barked and waved the switchblade.

Engineer grinned. Resorting to violence, eh? All right, he'll bite. "Say, partner… Do you know how to stop some big mean mother hubbard from tearing you a structurally superfluous new behind?"

The poor sod was utterly confused, trying to understand what did Engineer just said. Engineer chuckled. Clearly, this youngster isn't a smart one. He continued: "The answer: Use a gun." He pulled his pistol out of his belt pocket and cocked it. The guy's eyes widened.

"Now, partner, I believe I don't to use more gun, do I? I didn't want that it will get down to this, but if I have to, I will-"

"Engineer!" A female voice called. Engineer turned. "Oh, damn." He muttered. A rather sullen Annabeth was staring at the scene.

"What do you think you're doing?!" She questioned him.

"Well, Miss Annabeth, this is not what it looks like, all right? I'm not robbing that man!"

She narrowed her eyes. "Even so, why are you pointing a gun at him?"

"Well, to be technical, I'm holding the gun in my hand, not pointing at him, so I'll both psychologically intimidate him and not accidently put a shot, because as you know-"

But then he was suddenly cut when the guy grabbed for his pistol (A.N: People get cut in their speech too much often in this story, don't they?). Engineer thought quickly and thwarted the aggressor's leg. The guy fell down and Engineer kicked his hand, disarming him, and pointed the gun at his head.

"It appears years of fighting Spies payed off." He chuckled.

"Engineer!" Annabeth whispered.

"Yeah, yeah. You can calm down, darling. I'm not one to be angered and make hasty decisions easily, like this fella here." He holstered the pistol and reached his hand for the surprised person. The latter accepted the help and got up, groaning.

Engineer tightened his grip. "Now, friend. I believe I've made myself clear. Get moving." He said.

"Y-yes, yes sir!" The youngster stumbled, entered his car and drove off the fastest he could.

Engineer put his hands on his hips. "Another satisfied custo-"

"Engineer!" Annabeth yelled, still furious.

"What? I was never gonna hurt the lil' kid! Just show how we deal with troublemakers in Texas."

"Well, _this is not Texas._ You can't just point your gun at anyone who's angering you."

"The bastard pulled a damn shank on me! What was I supposed to do?"

"Maybe not intimidate him? If he didn't comply, we would just scare him Grover's hoofs and he would be already running with no harm made! Well, physical at least."

"I suppose that _could_ be a valid other option, buuut…"

"That's not up to question."

The Texan raised his hands in surrender. "Alright, say no more. Personally, Miss Annabeth, I do think that we got no reason to be foes, now." He smiled his wide trademark Good Ol' Boy smile that always made his friends calm.

Annabeth smiled back. "I suppose we don't, Engineer."

"Good. And please, call me Dell."

Percy came back, looking grim. Annabeth's smile faded. "What happened, Percy? What did Luke say?"

"Not much." He responded.

Dell examined him with a skeptical stare. "Son, I've killed enough liars to know you're one." He pointed at Percy.

Annabeth frowned at him. "Dell, we just talked about this. No violence and death jokes."

Percy didn't seem offended. That or he ignored the Texan's comment. "Come on, let's find some dinner." He said.

After a few minutes, they found a nice little diner.

"Well, fellas, I assume you don't have any money, so, eh… let me look in my again, hmmm…" Engineer searched his overalls again, and after a few seconds he found the nine dollars he hasn't spent yet.

"Well, as long as they didn't increase the prize of hamburgers these days, you should be fine." He said and handed them the money. Percy and Grover walked to the diner while Annabeth stayed to talk with Engineer.

"Thank you, Dell, but tell me, now when I think about it, why did you company gave you all only nine dollars each?" Annabeth asked him.

"Because Mann Co. is a bunch of stingy bootlicking barnacles, that's why. They're making billions every day but almost never give us new weapons to fight with. Just some damn silly hats. Apparently, they think every problem can be solved with a hat. But what else can you expect from someone like Saxton Hale…" Engineer grumbled.

"Sound pretty annoying, why are you still all working for them? Fighting an endless war, dying over and over again, just for money? I mean, maybe your co-workers, yes, they look rather greedy, but you… you look like a very rational man. And with your machinery, you can make millions, if not billions! Why don't you do that?" Annabeth asked him.

Engineer smiled sadly. "Hmph, you make a lot of good points, girl. Let's cover some of them. First, Australia doesn't sell Australium to any country or man. If I'd have to take a guess, I'd say Saxton Hale got a lot of secret connections with the government of Australia, since he has all the Australium in the world in his vaults. If I tried to sell any of my designs, the entire Australian Secret Service would be hunting my bum. Second, I may look rational, but if I'm still working for a company like Mann Co., I am crazier than you can imagine."

Annabeth frowned. "But what is the reason you still stay there? Didn't you tell me once you have freaking eleven ?! You are a genius! Why don't you use your brain for good and not for killing?!" She yelled in frustration.

Engineer grimaced. "I think we should eat something. Hungriness increases tension and anger." He said and started walking towards the diner's garbage area to place his teleporter. Annabeth sighed and went to the diner, but stopped in her tracks when she saw that Percy and Grover are talking with a suspicious, huge, muscular man. She started to run to the diner.

* * *

Dell played an invisible guitar while his teammates started to come out of the teleporter. Everybody stretched and yawned as they stored their weapons in their suits or bags.

Sniper took off his glasses and placed them in his shirt. He frowned at Dell. "Took ya some bloody time, mate. Did something happen?" he asked him.

Engineer shook off his sad look and smiled. "Nah, it's nothing, friend. Just accidently drifted into a conversation with Annabeth."

Spy straightened his tie and said, "Well, gentlemen. Let's get to work. Scout, you need to watch them as usual. Pretend you're looking at zhe-".His voice froze when he saw the door open and a worker coming out with a trash bag. The worker froze as well when he saw the nine armed mercenaries. Everybody was quiet for a few seconds until Soldier screamed, "DAMMIT ROOKIES OUR COVER WAS BLOWN! HUTTAH! NECK SNAP" He jumped on the worker and instantly killed him.

"Ya bloody idiot!" Sniper yelled. "We are not supposed to kill civilians!"

"Shut up, kangaroo! I just saved this mission because you didn't do anything." Soldier screamed at him.

"Eh, guys, we are gonna attract a lot of unwanted attention if we keep screaming like this!" Scout called out in concern.

"Scout's right! Everybody calm down before another employee comes and-" Spy went silent as another worker came and saw his dead friend alongside nine armed men.

The worker stared in awe and everyone went quiet again until Soldier screamed. "GOD-DAMN-IT FOOLS WHAT ARE YOU STANDING AROUND LIKE SOME DAMN DUST FARMERS!" He proceeded to jump on the worker and snap his neck like he did to his colleague.

"Oh mon dieu…" Spy sighed and facepalmed. "Scout, give me your bat for a second."

"Eh, okay?" Scout said confused while handing Spy his trusty skull-breaker.

Spy walked up to Soldier and raised the bat, preparing to strike the American.

"You don't got the balls, you French baguette-stuffing-" Soldier stopped mocking Spy as the latter whacked him in his helmet, causing Soldier to faint on the spot.

"Thank god!" Engineer muttered.

"Now, _docteur_ , can you revive zhe innocent civilians the dumb American has just murdered?" Spy asked Medic.

"Eh, vell, nein. Zey don't have Reanimators in them, and in order to bring people back from ze dead without them, I need a surgery table and equipment and also body parts." Medic admitted. "If I recall correctly though, ze Soldier is able to 'un-snap' a victim's neck after he did ze did, but you have just knocked him unconscious."

"Damn." Spy grunted. "Alright, zhis is how we're going to do zhis. You stay with Soldier while I disguise as one of zhe employees and watch our VIPs. When he wakes up, tell him to revive the people he killed and zhen knock zhem unconscious." Spy explained his plan. "That simple. Can you cabbageheads accomplish that without any problems?" He said as he looked at his team with concern. They nodded and murmured in approval. " _Bien_." He went to one of the worker's dead body and pulled out the little device Mann Co. has given him to disguise as more people. According to them, you are supposed to "put it on your target's body and it copies his or hers D.N.A to your Spytron 3000". He did so and looked at his Disguise Kit. It now showed an extra face that belonged to the dead worker. He smiled. "I wonder if they let me keep zhis if I choose to quit…" He got up and disguised as the worker. "Wish me luck." He said and entered the diner.

Inside, he saw Percy and Co discussing with a strange, Heavy-looking man. He prepared to cloak and approach them when a very angry-looking middle-aged man walked to him, screaming. "What the hell took you so long, Daniel?! You know Jenny can't handle all the orders by herself! And where is Rick?! Didn't you went to see what's going on with him since you said you heard screaming?" The man who presumably was the manager of the restaurant bombarded him with questions. 'I guess I'm Daniel, zhe first guy Soldier killed, and the second one is named Rick. I got to make up something fast.' Spy thought to himself. "Eh, sorry for being late, sir! Rick is currently having an indigestion b-because his sandvich- I mean, sandwich was spoilt!" Spy told the manager. "He, eh, said not to interrupt him because, eh, he's trying to puke and that's would probably be an ugly scene."

"Hmph, okay. Tell him he can go home. He's no good to us sick. Return fast to help Jenny." The manager calmed down.

Spy smiled. "Thank you, sir. I will do that right now." He pretended to go to the trash again and returned to spy (A.N: huehuehue) on Percy and the man.

* * *

A.N: So, 3000 words to make up for my sins. Thanks everyone who didn't abandon and thanks to the people who subscribed even though I was on a Hiatus. My TF2 keeps crashing recently and I am reading books less and less, but I will still try to write and hopefully finish this story for you.


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